


ask me again tomorrow

by theArchduchess



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Morning After, Section 31 (Star Trek), does this count as ..., philippa has issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29719941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theArchduchess/pseuds/theArchduchess
Summary: Terrans don't trust easily and they certainly do not stick around after a one night stand. Except the emperor has been staying around for a while now and Katrina starts asking questions about the woman's true intentions.
Relationships: Katrina Cornwell/Mirror Philippa Georgiou
Kudos: 12





	ask me again tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of thoughts about what the trio (Philippa, Gabriel and Katrina) was like in the mirror universe ... and a lot of thoughts about how much Philippa actually likes Kat and also canon can catch these hands so .... Kat/philippa rise.

“Something wrong?”

It should have been an easy question, after all, Philippa knew she was safe in the woman’s arms, her head resting on Katrina’s chest, feeling the other’s hand lazily run through her hair. They had developed a certain routine over the last months. Philippa would visit long after Katrina’s shift was over, spending the night in the admiral’s company and often disappearing before the next day really began. It was just that she had started to stay longer and longer afterwards and that invited conversation between the two of them. Katrina was starting to ask her questions, questions Philippa wasn’t willing to give her any answers to.

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to enjoy Katrina’s warm arms around her, the way she caressed her even now when any Terran would have long gotten back to doing something more ‘productive’. But she knew she couldn’t ignore the woman’s question forever and the longer she waited with her answer the more concerned Katrina would grow. “No, I was just thinking.” She wasn’t this quiet very often even when they were both exhausted and tired so for her to be deeply in thoughts like this was unusual and she had been spending enough time with the admiral that Katrina was slowly more and more capable of picking up on such unusual behaviour. It brought back old memories, things she would rather lock away and forget. At times she withdrew whenever it seemed like Katrina was closer to having her figured out. She knew the other tried to leave her job out of these moments but she was still very much trained to understand people, to help and reach out and there was nothing more terrifying to Philippa than the idea of being known intimately, of not being able to lie and hide effectively.

It was easy to pretend, to let people think they knew her when she was simply putting up a façade, when she could claim no one knew who she truly was at heart. It made it so much more difficult to attack her, to expose her and make her feel vulnerable. She liked having those walls up, to hide behind lies and deception and yet Katrina had torn all her defences down so easily. She loved and hated her for it. There were moments where she relished it, moments where she even longed for it but she couldn’t allow herself to fall for it. Katrina would leave eventually, hurt her, betray her. They all did.

Obviously unsatisfied with the answer Philippa had given her, Katrina carefully moved to face the woman properly. “Thinking about what?” And more questions … the people in this universe never stopped asking questions and none of them ever listened when she told them to stop. Philippa propped herself up on her arms, leaning down to kiss Katrina, attempt to shut her up. “Oh just thinking about how amazing the night was … you learn quickly.” But oh the look on Katrina’s face only grew more concerned. The flirting, the hinting at other distracting activities, by now she was surely aware that it was a picture perfect example of Philippa’s defence mechanisms.

Distract, ignore, dismiss. Don’t ever admit that you’re not one hundred percent in control.

“Philippa, what’s wrong? I can see something is bothering you.” Philippa only turned on her back and away from the woman in response. She despised pillow talk and she regretted not having left earlier. She knew Katrina wouldn’t drop the subject now and she was in no mood to address this right now, or ever if she was honest. “I gave you an answer already.”, she hissed, a final warning for Katrina to let this go. Of course the woman was quick to ignore her warning. She wasn’t afraid of her and deep down Philippa was scared she enjoyed that about her. The last person who had attempted to know and eventually defy her like this was dead, killed by her own blade and while Katrina had heard about that story, she refused to back off. She almost admired the stubbornness she possessed. Not in this moment though. “No, you lied to me and I’ve told you before there is no reason to lie to me, not here, not when it’s just the two of us.”

Katrina kept bringing up this idea of them having each other’s back, of being able to be honest with each other but Philippa had heard that promise before. It had taken Gabriel several decades to break _his_ promise, she wasn’t going to give Katrina the chance to break hers.

She got up and reached for the underwear she had disregarded earlier in the night, hoping to move quicker than Katrina, hoping the other wouldn’t even mention that she was once again running away, choosing to be a coward rather than face her fears. Unlike last time however, Katrina had grown more willing to hold her back, grabbing her arm and trying her best to make her sit down on the bed again. Philippa tried not to think about how quickly she followed suit instead of trying to fight the woman. Only months ago she would have simply stormed off, who was the admiral to try make her stay? Except now she was easily persuaded to at least listen to her as she came up behind her and put her arms around her once more.

“You don’t have to answer. It’s fine. Maybe another day.” Katrina was trying to persuade her into laying back down on the bed, staying a bit longer, letting herself be coaxed into at least admitting she enjoyed the woman’s company. It was tempting, Philippa had to give her that. She certainly played the role of the conflicted but dedicated lover well, almost too well. There shouldn’t be another day for this conversation, she should have left long ago, turned her back on the admiral and not looked back and yet … she returned whenever possible. At this point even Leland had noticed her excitement whenever Katrina visited or demanded their presence on her ship. It was the first warning sign for her. Other people were slowly able to understand what was happening between her and the admiral, things that should have never gotten this far out of control were suddenly no secret anymore.

It was her situation with the empire all over again. Everyone was looking at her, expecting to find something to gossip about, something that indicated she was getting weak. She had been the most powerful woman in the empire and yet she had been at the mercy of her own people. Public opinion had slowly shifted and people had started to look for weaknesses, any connections to people that could be exploited. Gabriel had chosen to exploit her love for her daughter, tied her hands by playing her out against her own child and it had almost cost her her life. She couldn’t risk loving someone again. Not even here.

“What are you so afraid of, Philippa?”

Philippa knew that question had been on the woman’s mind for a while but she hadn’t dared to ask it previously, reluctant to imply the emperor could be afraid of anything knowing damn well she would take it as an insult. But they had crossed a few lines since then and as much as she hated the question itself, Philippa found she felt no anger towards Katrina for asking it. That didn’t mean she was willing to give her an answer though. “I’m not afraid of anything, why would you even asking me such a question?”, she replied eventually, once more dodging any attempt Katrina made at figuring her out. She was sure the woman would call this an attempt to ‘help’ her but she saw it as a way to lure her into a false sense of security. Katrina was still Leland’s boss and that meant she would always have an eye on his projects, which, as much as she hated to admit it, Philippa was a part of. There was no guarantee the admiral wasn’t just trying to make sure she didn’t cause any trouble for the Federation and Starfleet while also getting something out of this for herself. She doubted admirals got a lot of action in this universe so she wouldn’t even blame her if she tried to kill two birds with one stone.

She had to say though … Katrina didn’t seem like the kind of person to take advantage of such a situation. With Gabriel it hadn’t been much of a surprise that he had tried to get all the power he could get his hands on, the surprise had been that he had turned this hunger for power against her specifically and in such a horrible way too. Katrina wasn’t like that, either that or she was great at hiding it but Philippa wanted to believe she was truly honest about her intentions. If this universe’s Katrina was anything like the woman she had known in her own universe then she was brutally honest and more interested in making others confess their sins rather than hide her own.

She shook her head, finally reaching for her clothes again, this time insistent on pushing the other away and getting dressed. The moment between them was over, Philippa had other things to do.

“I’ll see you later, admiral.”

“Philippa, wait!”

Of course Katrina would make this more complicated than it already was, getting up and quickly throwing a bathrobe on just to try and stop the woman from leaving. Philippa wasn’t sure why she didn’t simply walk out the door right now before the other could say another word. She was getting soft, not a good thing at all. “I just want you to know nothing you say here will ever leave this room if you don’t want it to … this isn’t the empire, we don’t use everything against each other here.” Deep down she knew there was some truth to that. She had seen the difference in how people treated each other here and yet despite all the evidence that supported Katrina’s claim was true, she was hesitant to share more about herself.

“I’ve got things to do, admiral. I’m sure we’ll have time to talk later.”

“You're being ridiculous. You _like_ spending time with me _._ ”

It wasn’t a question. Katrina hadn’t asked for confirmation, she was convinced she already had it. Philippa raised a brow in return. “Do I?” She knew her question was only inviting the admiral to share more of her thoughts on this topic, something she wanted to avoid, but the only other options she had were to either agree, which she refused to do or deny it and possibly reveal she was lying while doing so. Katrina knew her too well, a direct answer would tell her so much more than Philippa had any control over. She finally turned to look at the woman once more, doing her best to appear indifferent about the topic. “This is convenient, admiral.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. Katrina overlooked parts of Section 31, she and Philippa had spent a lot of time together because of that and because Katrina was directly involved with everything concerning Discovery’s nine month disappearance, something which obviously covered everything concerning Philippa as well. At first glance their arrangement was incredibly convenient. They were both busy people but spend just enough time together to manage this ‘relationship’ between them.

“It’s more than convenient. You enjoy being here and I think it’s childish of you to try and deny that. We’re both adults we should talk about this.” _Oh this again_. _Great_. “Talk about what? The fact that we sleep together? I don’t think there’s anything to talk about unless you’re worried Starfleet will disapprove of our arrangement.” She knew she couldn’t feign ignorance in this moment, not in front of Katrina but she tried it anyway. Of course the woman wasn’t willing to let her get away with this, looking at her with annoyance, a look that was all too familiar to Philippa. She had seen it many times from the _other_ Katrina, although this universe’s Katrina Cornwell looked far less bitter and tired than her old friend.

She wondered if she should tell her about her counterpart, how she had spend nights like this with her too, how she had made her inquisitor, one of her most trusted allies, right after Gabriel. They had been close … she wondered what that Katrina was doing now, if she mourned her emperor’s death or if she was glad she was gone.

“Philippa, I know you were taught not to trust anyone probably your entire life but I’m not Terran, I don’t just gather information to use against you one day. I’m not out to humiliate you just because you enjoy my company. I’m _glad_ you do.” Katrina had made another step towards her, carefully putting her hand on Philippa’s cheek, almost begging her to look at her. Philippa knew she wasn’t lying, she knew what the woman looked like when she was trying to deceive someone. But that didn’t make the situation any easier for her. Trust was not something she gave away easily, especially not after the two people she had genuinely trusted had betrayed her, tried to kill her. “Will you at least give me a chance to prove that to you?” Philippa couldn’t give her the answer she asked for, not yet, not today.

She opened her mouth as if to say something only to remain silent, moving Katrina’s hand to place a kiss on her knuckles instead, the only sign of tenderness she allowed herself at the moment. A compromise.

“Ask me again tomorrow.”


End file.
